Therapy for the patterns you carry
Most people who come to me for individual therapy don’t open with a diagnosis. They open with a pattern. “I always end up being the one who holds everything together.” “I go quiet when I’m upset, then resent that nobody noticed.” “I keep choosing people who aren’t available, and I’m tired of it.” “I show up in ways that please others, not the way I really want to.” “I’m constantly operating in anxiety.”
Much of my work is with couples and families, so I tend to see individual struggles through a relationship lens. How you treat yourself, how you handle conflict, what you do when you feel unwanted or overwhelmed: those habits were learned in relationships, and they show up in every relationship you have now, including the one with yourself.
Individual therapy is a place to look at those patterns on your own, at your own pace, without anyone else in the room to manage. You don’t need to be in crisis to start. Many people come because they want to understand themselves better before the next relationship, the next big decision, or the next round of the same old argument.
What individual therapy can help with
Anxiety and overthinking
Replaying a conversation at 2 a.m. Drafting a text six times. Bracing for bad news that hasn’t come. We look at what your anxiety is trying to protect you from, and practice ways to settle your body, not just argue with your thoughts.
People-pleasing and boundaries
Saying yes when you mean no, then feeling drained and quietly angry. People-pleasing often started as a smart way to keep the peace when you were young. We work out where it came from and what it costs you now, and practice saying what you need without the guilt spiral afterward.
Self-criticism, perfectionism and self-doubt
That inner voice that never lets anything be good enough, or second-guesses every decision. We get curious about whose voice it really is, and build a steadier, kinder way of talking to yourself that still holds you to your own standards.
The same relationship pattern with different people
Different partner, same ending. Different friend, same falling-out. If you keep landing in a familiar place, there’s usually an older story running underneath. Understanding it is often the first step toward choosing differently.
Creative work, comparison and burnout
Many of the people I see work in creative fields or in entertainment, where your sense of worth can get tangled up with the last project, the last review, or someone else’s highlight reel. We work on creative blocks, performance anxiety and the fear of judgment, and on separating who you are from what you produce.
Big transitions
A breakup, a move, a career change, becoming a parent, losing a parent. Transitions shake loose old feelings and old coping habits. Therapy gives you somewhere to sort through it before you have to have it all figured out.
How I work
Insight matters, but on its own it rarely changes much. You can understand exactly why you shut down in an argument and still shut down the next time. That’s because the reaction happens in your nervous system, faster than thought. Your nervous system is your body’s built-in alarm: it decides in a split second whether a moment is safe, and it reacts before you’ve had time to think.
So in sessions we pay attention to what happens in your body and in the moment, not only to the story. When something stirs you up while we’re talking, we slow it down and notice it together. Over time, those small moments add up to real choices you can make at home, at work and in your relationships.
I draw on two approaches most in individual work:
Attachment-based work
Attachment is the way we learned, very early, to get close to people and to protect ourselves from being hurt by them. Attachment-based work looks at how those early lessons shape the way you love, trust, argue and retreat as an adult.
Interpersonal neurobiology
Interpersonal neurobiology looks at how relationships shape the brain and body, and how new relationship experiences, including the one in therapy, can help those patterns change.
Because I work with a lot of couples, I also bring in what I’ve learned from approaches like the Gottman Method, Emotionally Focused Therapy and PACT about how conflict and repair actually work between people. That can be useful even when your partner, parent or friend is never in the room.
The patterns you learned made sense once. You get to decide whether they still fit.
Individual therapy, couples therapy, or both?
People often ask me which one they need. Here’s how I think about it.
- Individual therapy fits when the pattern shows up across many relationships, when you want to understand your own part first, when you’re single or between relationships, or when your partner isn’t ready to come in.
- Couples therapy fits when the main struggle lives between the two of you: the fight that keeps repeating, the distance that keeps growing.
- Relationship therapy is for two or more people with something worth repairing, such as a parent and adult child, siblings, a whole family, a band, or creative and business partners.
Some people start individually and later bring a partner or family member in. If that happens with me, we’ll talk openly first about how it would work, so everyone knows where they stand and nobody feels the room is stacked against them. Sometimes the cleaner choice is for me to keep seeing you individually and to refer the joint work to a colleague. We’ll decide that together.
What to expect
We start with a free 20-minute video call. You tell me a little about what’s going on, ask whatever you want to know about how I work, and we both get a sense of whether it’s a good fit. There’s no pressure to book.
In our first sessions, I’ll ask about what brought you in, what you’ve already tried, your important relationships past and present, and what you’d like to be different. You don’t have to arrive with it organized. Most people don’t.
We usually meet weekly at first. As things shift, many people move to every other week and later to monthly check-ins. You’re always welcome to tell me something isn’t working. That conversation is part of therapy too.
If you’re in crisis or thinking about harming yourself, please call or text 988, the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline, any time. Weekly therapy isn’t built for emergencies, and you deserve immediate support.
How long does individual therapy take?
It depends on what you’re working on. Some people come for a focused stretch around one decision or transition. Others stay longer because they want to work on patterns that go back a long way. I can’t promise a timeline, but I’ll check in with you regularly about what’s changing and whether therapy is still useful.
Signs it’s working tend to be small and practical: you catch yourself before the old reaction, you say no without spending the evening apologizing, an argument ends with repair instead of silence.
How much does individual therapy cost?
- 50-minute session: $175
- 80-minute session: $225
I don’t bill insurance directly. I can give you a superbill, a receipt with the codes your insurer needs, so you can submit it for possible out-of-network reimbursement. Call your plan before you start and ask what they reimburse for out-of-network outpatient therapy.
In person in Highland Park, or online across California
My office is at 5317 North Figueroa Street in Highland Park. People come from around Northeast LA and nearby, including Eagle Rock, Mount Washington, Glassell Park, Silver Lake, Echo Park, Pasadena and Glendale.
I also see clients online anywhere in California. Online sessions suit busy schedules and anyone who simply feels more at ease talking from home.
My practice is LGBTQIA+ affirming, ENM and polyamory affirming, sex-positive, culturally aware and anti-racist. You don’t have to explain or defend who you are or how you love before we can get to work. If you’d like to talk about whether I’m the right fit, book a free consultation.
